Labor...COMING SOON!

Yesterday I turned 32 weeks. My size, it is a changin!. My last appt. was almost 2 weeks ago....I haven't gone since the holidays and such...so I have a high tech ultrasound tomorrow and a dr. appt Mon. I am anxious to see what is going on. At my last appt I still measured 40..so I hadn't changed, but the doctor said that depends on the position of the babies and such...Nelson and I tried to measure me....yesterday and it came out to 48....we could be wrong...even though we are experts :) ......but we'll see what I measure Mon. I have gained a significant amount this past 2 weeks.....and although it has been the holidays, I haven't been eating too much.....previously I have been quite hungry often....but lately not......so I am hoping the weight is just the babies getting bigger. Christmas about killed me. I pushed myself probably way too far.....Christmas Eve night...3 am...I was up with pretty hefty contractions....and I was just praying not to have to go to the hospital...they finally subsided.....and Christmas day I put myself on a sort of bed rest...more like a butt rest really. I sat a lot, drank lots of water and felt a lot better. I have Braxton Hicks quite often, but I don't think they are often enough to do much about. Reading online though, I think I should discuss my concerns with the Dr. Monday and maybe even have him check to see if I am dialating any from the contractions I have had. I think they will be able to tell a lot in the ultrasound tomorrow also, so I am ready for some news. I keep telling myself to pack a bag and be ready....and also feel I may be put on bed rest. We'll see. It is much harder to walk around. Getting up and down is difficult, I feel more pressure.....wondering if they are dropping any.....and just want to make sure they have enough time in there to develop and be born healthy. Can't wait to see how much they weight tomorrow.

I have meant to take pics on the days I change weeks, but I can't seem to get it together. Here is a pic of me at 31 weeks and 4 days. Right in between 31 and 32.

People keep telling me I look like I am going to pop, or any day now....ha. I actually rather enjoying telling them I am not due for 2 more months. :) It is fun to see their face. But then I say it is twins, so probably a lot sooner. It is def. going to be a lot sooner if I don't sit my hind end down and stop slaving away. It is pure torture being pregnant and wanting a super clean house and being so large and pregnant you can't actually do it. Torture. 

Here's to a another 3 weeks at least! 

29 & Counting!

Not the best pic, but you can thank my phone! It bites a big one. I need a new one....

So I am now 29 weeks.....I went to the doctor on Monday....I am measuring 40cm....ha. Super huge. I grew 4 cm in 2 weeks. That is crazy! 

The babies are great....they are obviously not lacking for nourishment. Which is great, because then whenever they are born, if it happens to be early, they will be a good size. 

I am not seeing me deliver before 38 weeks. That is when they will induce me for sure. I just can't imagine going before then, but I can see myself waddling around for another 9 1/2 weeks. :) 

So no complaining but just stating the facts...here is what it is like being pregnant with twins at 29 weeks and 40cm: 

I have ONE pair of pants to wear...the end

I am now down to maybe 4 shirts I rotate that cover my massive belly

I only wear tennis shoes now.....very loosely tied....to fit my fat feet in

I waddle everywhere

My hips hurt most of the time and esp. when I get up from sitting or laying down. 

My belly itches

I am hungry always at like 10pm...yikes...not good. I should go to bed. But gotta feed the babies! 

It is a HUGE chore to get in and out of my van, let alone put Kason in and get him in his carseat. I try not to go anywhere by myself if I can help it.

I am super irritable.....I almost took off some parent's head yesterday at the 4th/5th grade choir concert for no good reason, or at least not for anything their fault...it was a good reason.

My house is NEVER clean enough and I can't do it...so everyone else gets yelled at. Sorry. :(

There is barely any room for Kason to sit on my lap...he tends to think my big belly is his arm rest. He just makes himself comfortable. 

The girls are always kissing my belly.....esp. Sienna and telling the babies goodnight. 

Everywhere I go people say, "Oh you are about to pop!" Then I have to say..."oh yeah, in a couple of months!" ha. :) 

At night I get up to tinkle at least 3x for sure....in and out of my bed....for which I have to use a step ladder to get into. (Thanks Nelson). 

I toss and turn sides constantly because laying on one side for too long is uncomfortable and my hips start to ache.

My toes and fingers go to sleep super easy.

My left leg swells a bunch and therefore requires me to put my feet up as often I can. I am trying to work on that one. I have a few good books to lure me in. 

Seeing little new babies melts my heart, because I get so excited to be having two and can't wait! (Perhaps I won't be sharing with the kids)

I often think of ways in my head I can snuggle them both at the same time and not share. I have gotten greedier with my children the more I have. :) But I am sure there will be plenty of times I am more than willing to share..maybe. :) 

After a couple of hours of the day, I am exhausted and worn out. 

Oh so many good and challenging things at this point, but all such blessings of what is to come. I can't believe Christmas is here soon and then the babies. Time is flying fast. 

I am Super blessed!

28 1/2 weeks and counting....

Well, this past week I went to have a big ultrasound at Albany Med. They want to check out the babies and make sure they are getting the nutrients and things they need to be born healthy, so I went Friday and have to go every 4 week until delivery. They were looking great. Juliet had her feet up over her head like a gymnast....it was funny.

While Juliet was breech at the time, Jace was sideways...yes...sideways. Not up or down....but their heads were together...so hopefully that will change, since there is still plenty of time. :) They both just keep doing whatever they want...I just hope when it is D-Day, they are both facing the right way. :) 

Juliet weighs in at 2 lbs 14 oz and Jace at 3 lbs 1 oz. So they are growing fantastically! :) 

I am getting super duper large, I am very uncomfortable and just getting in and out of my van is a big ordeal. Getting in and out of my bed for that matter...which is why Nelson has put a step ladder by the bed to make it easier. :) And it is. 

I have to pee super often...after every hour of church, 3-5 times a night, and well, anytime I think about it. 

With each of my kids I always get little muscles that cramp under my stomach...and the only way they go away is by standing for a long period of time...yep, those are double worse....at night I have to get up out of bed and stand....today at church I had to get up and walk out of Relief Society. It is quite unpleasant...

I have had a few braxton hicks....but I am hopeful that is all they are and nothing more. So far so good. :) 

Everytime I think about how uncomfortable I am or tired I am...It only takes a second to remember I prayed for this and I am happy to be so uncomfortable. I want them to be born healthy with no need of a NICU, so hopefully late January is the earliest they will arrive. I am not sure how my body will continue to grow and strech...oh heavens....and how I will even walk once January arrives...but oh what a blessing. :) Double in fact. :) 

Two of my Texas friends has since found out they are expecting twins as well. What a great thought to think Heavenly Father is needing to send these sweet spirits two at a time to great homes. "And they shall go forth two by two..." well, in this sense they aren't preaching the gospel just yet, but how tremendous. With the missionary work of the church increasing and families who are covenant families increasing in such a measure, it is truly a time preparatory for the Lord to come...oh what marvelous things are to come forth. 

Through my uncomfortableness and bajillion doctor appointments, and the holidsays....my two little angels will be here before I know it. :) 

I have many things to be ever so grateful for. 

Actual 25 weeks

So Yesterday I actually turned 25 weeks...since I am losing my mind and can't keep up with where I am. I just know I am large and getting uncomfortable. This week at my dr appointment, I had some new ultrasounds of the little bambinos. They are growing wonderfully and just swimming around in there. The tech started by looking at Juliet and she is head down, about 1 lb 12 oz and looking good. At first Jace had his bottom in her face....probably indicative of their future selves...:) but by the time the tech went to check him out, he had turned around and they were head to head. :)

 A cute pic if I do say so myself. :) He is 1 lb 14 oz and doing well also. Both of them are good sized and around average. It was fun to see them, Jace waved at us and we got a good pic of him saying "hi!" :)

Here is a great side profile of Jace! Isn't he cute! :) 

Here is a face shot of Juliet. I guess Jace got all the good ones this time. Last time it was Juliet. :) 

I am measuring 34 inches....mind you I am as big and uncomfortable as if I were actually 34 weeks along instead of only 25. Things are getting harder for me to do. Even just climbing into our bed at night, which is way too high, is one of the biggest pains. So you can imagine the fun as I get up to use the bathroom in the night at least 3 times!

I am nesting a bit and one day the house will be super duper clean, then the kids come home and just look at it and automatically everything falls on the floor, doesn't make it into the trash, slides under the table, and dumps out in under 2 minutes. Extremely frustrating since mustering up the energy to do it the first time took all I had.

Sometimes I want to just cry.

Yesterday I went to the store to get groceries and by the time I pushed Ryder and Kason around in one of those racing cart shopping carts and got 2/3 of the groceries on my list, it was time to go. It was all the energy I had to get home and then luckily it was cold outside...I left the groceries in the car for over 4 hrs until Nelson got home so he could bring them in. I just didn't have the energy.

It is hard to believe in possibly 10 weeks we could have two more babies here. When I think of it that way I feel I am definitely not prepared. There is Thanksgiving to do, Christmas, then babies.....and it is going to all fly by. I don't know if 10 weeks is long enough to get my house cleaned!

I know my life is going to change. Each day I just look at Kason and want to love on him all I can, because he won't be getting much when Jace and Juliet come around. He will be fine, just like the others were, but it sure is fun to cuddle him the few moments he lets me. :) If he is anything like Ryder was with a new baby, he won't like me for a good week or two. But Kason actually likes babies, so he may get a little jealous, but I think he will be a great big brother.

So here is to enduring to the end. Mostly just the end of pregnancy, because then I will have a new set of challenges...mostly sleep.

Here are a collection of pictures of me growing.  I thought it may be interesting to see how big my stomach is getting.

August 28th - 14 weeks 6 days

 September 17th - 17 weeks 5 days

October 3 - 20 weeks

November 7 - 25 weeks

Regardless of the circumstances, or of being uncomfortable. It doesn't matter. I am thankful everyday for the blessing of having twins and so excited for them to come! Even if it is to a dirty house! :( 

How I am feeling...

Well, I am one day away from being 24 weeks. I think. I keep losing track. Maybe I am almost 25....let me check. Yes, almost 25. This is the pregnant brain. So Sunday in church I was walking out of Sacrament and I could have sworn  saw Mia and Kason walk out ahead of me (mind you Ryder and Kason were twinkies that day). I got stopped by someone and then when we were done talking I went to the hall way to see where Kason had gone and he had just disappeared. I told a friend in the hall I was looking for him and don't know where he went...then I walked into nursery and as I was talking to the ladies, I set Kason down on the table....YES...HE WAS ON MY HIP THE ENTIRE TIME! Holy guacamole! I didn't even know. Yes, worse than glasses on your head...I had an entire child on my hip...in my arms ( an almost 18 month old) and spaced it....yes. I am pregnant.

I am getting rather large. I look and feel about like I do at the end of a regular singleton pregnancy right now....so imagine having at least 10 more weeks on top of that. Oh so fun. But truthfully. Even though I am HUMONGOUS, only getting bigger, and only getting more uncomfortable. I will never complain. Because what a blessing for us to be waiting for two of Heavenly Father's little spirit children to come to our home. We have wanted and waited for so long.....so I will take all the extra pounds, tiredness, shortness of breath, heartburn, varicose veins, bazillion trips to the bathroom, irritability, and even planning a c-section if I must....for as long as necessary..though we are aiming for 10 more at the least!

So I am going every two weeks to the doctor since I am "an at risk" pregnancy. Yes, over 35....mind you I just turned 35 in June. But it is fun to get to go often anyways. This next week I go, they will start doing ultrasounds every appointment...which will  be fun. :) I am always just a little apprehensive until we hear the heartbeats, but I am feeling good..and know they are growing...they have to be....I must measure 32 or 33 by now. If not more.

My last appointment the Dr. said what I already knew....depending on their placement towards the end depends on my type of delivery.  I am hoping they are both head down, but even if they are, there is a chance of the second one turning after the first one is born. She also mentioned delivering that one breech. OUCH. Well, we will see and pray whatever transpires is not too painful of a recovery, but that both are born healthy and strong and in no need of the NICU.

Well, my feet have been dangling too long, time to go kick them up and sit some more on my duff. Sometimes it is hard being pregnant. :)

Anticipating greatness and cuteness in just a few short months! :)

Checkup

Today was not only Jayda's 10th birthday it was almost my checkup at the dr. office. I am going to be 21 weeks tomorrow and I am humongous! :) Well, at least my tummy is way bigger than a normal 21 weeker. :) So although I am 21 weeks, I measure 29! :) I also have to start going every 2 weeks now...which is so wierd....but fun. It is fun to be doing something different than what I am used to. All seems to be well....the heartbeats are great and we all seem healthy! I am steadily getting ready with clothes my mom sends, and what we already have. People are giving us lots of stuff too, which is so nice and helpful!

I have thought a lot today about when Jayda was born. If I had known on that day I would be pregnant with twins on her 10th birthday, I would never have believed it! How blessed we are. These little babies are going to have some wonderful, loving big sisters and brothers to welcome them and hold them, and probably irritate them....but it will be so fun.

We are so excited and although time seems to be going slow...it is in fact getting faster. October is almost 1/2 way over...soon there is Halloween, Thanksgiving....then Christmas....At Christmas I will be 32 weeks.....that seems crazy and a little scary. I know that anything can happen after 30....I am just praying for good health for all of us and a good delivery. Mostly I would love for them to not be in the NICU...so here's prayin!

One Boy, One Girl

Today was the day. So much anticipation to find out what you two were going to be. And yet after the results, we knew all along. I just keep remembering the day before my first appt at 13 weeks...it was Sunday and I was getting ready for church. I remember just thinking if for some lucky reason it was twins and a boy and a girl...we should name your middle names Emma and Joseph. I really felt the spirit when I thought that. I  of course even doubted it was twins.....and then the odds of a boy and a girl. :) But I won't forget that feeling I had either. I had the same feeling during the ultrasound today. After the tech announced Baby A was a girl, I for a brief moment though I may be shocked with 2 girls.....but I had that same feeling of naming a boy and girl's middle names Emma and Joseph. So I already knew for sure before she even confirmed it. Looking back over the last month and a half, every time I wasn't sure of wanted to think about what you could possibly be, I always went back to that first premonition the day before I even knew you were twins and just felt like that was my answer. So I really think all this time I knew and Heavenly Father had already told me, but sometimes we let others or the world get into our thoughts and change us or our thinking...even if for a moment. Luckily we can remember and look back and ponder and see Heavenly Father's hand in our lives and even in our thoughts. 

When I first mentioned to Nelson my thoughts on Emma and Joseph, he thought it was super cheesy. :) To his credit, maybe I wasn't clear enough on my promptings....:) So after the ultrasound I told him again what I thought. I think he liked it better, and I suggested he think and pray about it until he gets the confirmation as I did. :) So I am assuming....that will be there names. :) 

(* Historical Note: Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, and established The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He was an amazing man who sacrificed many things including his life for the truth and for Jesus Christ. His wife's name was Emma. She was probably the most valiant, strong, and tested woman I can think of. For more info on their lives or anything else about the church you may want to know, you can visit www.mormon.org .) 

I feel it an honor to name our twins after them. For after all, as parents, all we want is our children to stay close to the Lord, follow His counsel no matter what, and live their lives to receive the ultimate reward. What  better way to choose a namesake than people who have already done just that. 

So today was the day to find out the sexes...and we were full of apprehension  heading to the ultrasound for a 2nd time with twins. My mind was nervous, but truly my spirit wasn't. The natural man was a bit scared....but it is that way from experience. We just wanted healthy babies with heartbeats. And we were so blessed to get them! Everything was great and looked good. Our Technician kind of flew through stuff quicker than we would have liked, but over the years some have been really good and some well...about this fast. So at least all was well, and we did get some pics and a couple of 3D which was a first. I wish she could have better pictures, but that's okay. We'll take your pictures as soon as you are born..and plenty of them! So here are your candid's....: 

Juliet Emma Cluff

Juliet in 3D

Jace Joseph Cluff

Jace in 3D

We are so excited to welcome them into our family and hold them and love them. We only pray for an easy delivery (I do :) and that they will be born healthy and strong and ready to face this crazy world! 

We are eternally blessed already with 6 great children, and can't believe the tender mercies the Lord continues to give us. Now we will be eternally blessed  x 8!

Checkup

Today I had a checkup. I would be lying if I said I wasn't super nervous. Exactly what I am now is how big my first set of twins were when their hearts stopped beating. I was really nervous to hear the heartbeats, especially since I had food poisoning a couple of weeks ago. When I went in to the nurse to check my blood pressure and stuff, she said, how are you? I said, oh fine...I just always get a little nervous to hear heartbeats. She said, oh don't worry. Then she had to leave for a bit, and apparently I was nervous, because I got all teary eyed and had to get a tissue. It is almost like it is too good to be true...and I am just waiting for something to happen to take it away. But I trust in my Heavenly Father and even though I get nervous and worry, I think my spirit is at peace, but my mind is going ninety to nothing. All was well at my checkup today. I met Dr. Jacobs...who is not only Jewish and wears  Yamika (SP?) around, but is very bubbly and outgoing and friendly for an older doctor. I liked him a lot. I have yet to meet the other two doctors, but he seems great. The heartbeats were just fine, he didn't tell me the number, but did say I measure 22 (which normally would be 22 weeks)...so that gives you an idea of how big my belly is. I measure 22 at 16. (I change on Wed.) So all is well, and it was a relief to hear heartbeats. Now we are counting down the days to the ultrasound (next week...Sept. 21st) to find out the sex of the babies. :) What a blessing. I can't wait to find out and know what they are and then name them!!! :)

Happy Thoughts

This last week, we bought two matching cribs off craigslist for a great price. It is so fun imagining two babies......hoping they will actually get here to our family without any problems or complications, but then really having them to have and hold in our arms! Two cribs are the only thing we have right now....and two packs of diapers...we are trying to stock up. :) But we must be ready by Christmas...or we will be in trouble. Many of my friends who have had twins say to be ready anytime at 30 weeks. I hope to last at least to 35 or beyond....so they won't need to be in the NICU or anything. But still, we must be prepared. On the 21st we get to find out the sex of the babies...and that will be so much fun and a relief, so we can quit guessing....and prepare. I say we only have cribs...but that is not entirely true. We have girl and boy clothes from the last 6 kids! :) We just need to know which ones to get out and get washed and tucked away for their arrival. :) We  have names picked out for two boys and a boy and a girl.....I am so positive that it isn't two girls, we don't even have names. (No I am not saying until I find out in 2 weeks! :) My pregnancy has been very boyish...I'd bet for sure there is at least one! We are happy for anything though and so excited to just know.

Today I saw one of my friends at the store who has 10mo. old boy twins. We talked a lot about having twins ...and I have realized, it is so fun and exciting and really part of the fun is just the expecting. At least for now, while I am not so miserable. Don't get me wrong....I am almost 16 weeks and feel like 25....so I am bigger and quite less mobile than normally at 16....but at least I can take solace in the fact that there is no way I will go past 38 weeks. They won't let me. :) I also feel like in the end, and so I am told, I will be miserable and it will be hard to do much....well, that is not new...that is always how I feel, but  am sure it will be doubly worse! So the sooner to prepare the better.

I am still feeling sick. Off and on throughout the day and mostly at night...STILL! Again, I am told, it lasts a little longer....and should be feeling better by 18 weeks! Lets hope so. I also got sick sooner....right at 5 weeks I was sick instead of the usual 8. So perhaps that is an indication if there are multiples. :)

The kids enjoy telling everyone we see that we are expecting twins. It is actually entertaining for me too, esp. when we are in public and people ask..."Are those kids all yours?" We smile and say yes and then in no time the kids say, and there are two on the way! Oh the expressions are priceless. :) I love it.

We are currently in the market for a big van. Yep....our lovely suburban only seats 9 and we will be a family of 10...so we must upgrade. We will miss our suburban...it is so wonderful...I wish we could keep it forever, but I'll take twins over the suburban any day. :)

And so we keep waiting, hoping, and dreaming of what the future holds. It will be busy, sleepless, very large and bloated, and lovely! :)

Food Poisoning

On Thursday, I took the girls to the mall to get free haircuts at JCPenney for school. We were quite in a hurry to eat lunch before the haircuts, so we ate at Wendy's in the mall real fast. I had a grilled chicken sandwich, which is my usual......well, was my usual. As I was scarfing it down quickly, I had a thought, perhaps it wasn't quite cooked all the way....but I didn't listen to that still small voice.

NEVER AGAIN.

Thursday night I found myself no feeling well. I thought it was due to pregnancy, so I thought if I went to play basketball I would feel better. Usually...exercising makes me feel better.....but to no avail. I came home and went right to bed. Friday morning, I was feeling quite off. I decided not to exercise and found myself laying around all morning miserable. Finally by noon, I realized it was not just pregnancy and asked Nelson to come home because I was so sick. The next two days I spent in bed with bad stomach pains and miserable. By Sunday I was feeling better, at least I could get out of bed, but still pretty sick. It was so miserable.

After research, a blessing, and talking to our friend who is a doctor.....we knew the babies wouldn't be harmed.....unless I wasn't hydrated enough, but still....pretty miserable! I won't be having any grilled chicken sandwiches for a bit. It is really hard for me to even eat chicken right now...honestly.

My next appointment is September 10th. I am anxiously awaiting to hear their heartbeats again. Because of our first experience, I feel sometimes really afraid that they won't have heartbeats. I have always been afraid of that with all my children, but especially now. But in my heart I can't imagine Heavenly Father would ever cause us to have to endure the same thing twice. Still our prayers ascend for Healthy babies and a healthy pregnancy!

Yay to no more food poisoning...boo to grilled chicken sandwiches!

Tender Mercies of the Lord

Today was one of those days where you aren't sure it was real. I went to my first Dr. appt...already almost 13 weeks pregnant. Most of you may or may not know Nelson and I had a late miscarriage our first pregnancy. We went to the ultrasound to find out the sex of our baby and found out not only was it twins...but their hearts weren't beating. It was very sad and shocking for us. We were able to eventually find out that it was a virus I had that caused all the problems and caused their little bodies to stop working....and it was just a random once in a lifetime thing. We trusted Heavenly Father was in charge and knew what was best, and named our litle ones Isaac and Isabelle and decided we would see them again and raise them in the Resurrection. Each child we had, not only were we scared of any kind of freak accidents, but we were also hoping for another set of twins. We wanted twins so badly. After 6 kids....nothing. So you can imagine this appt. and the hopes we had again....the night before I could barely sleep and the kids kept saying they thought it would be twins...I told them not to get their hopes up. Well...as I went in for the Ultrasound...as soon as she had the screen up I noticed right away...I asked histerically if their were two....I couldn't stop bawling like a baby and I spurted out our whole history of losing the first set....always wanting some more....and probably she wasn't used to seeing people super happy about twins! :) I just couldn't believe it...finally. It was like winning the lotto....really...did that just happen? I cried the entire time she did the ultrasound...it was unbelievable. My next question was are they okay? Are their hearts beating? They were just fine and doing great! I still can't believe it...it is like a dream! Everyone was so excited...I had to text Nelson right away and send a pic of the ultrasound for proof. :) My mom and mother in law both bawled like babies also.....what a blessing and tender mercy of the Lord to give us something we wanted so badly. I just can't beleive it. So we will go from 6 kids to 8 right after Christmas! I am due February 20th...but not sure when they will come. So many things to think about and plan for....after the shock wears off. :) We find out what they are on Sept 21st! Let the countdown and guessing begin! :) We are happy to have anything...but can't wait to be sure! I am going to start a blog about the twins. I have kept journals for all my children since they were born...so this will be the beginning of theirs. I will post it when I start! Until then, pray for us that all goes well and know that Heavenly Father hears us and answers us, even if it is in His own time!!!!